Low Confidence/Low Self Esteem

 

The Problem

Your mind is nothing short of incredible. From the moment of birth your mind has endless resources. You have the ability to think in any direction you desire. At any given moment you can pick from any of the numerous choices life presents to you. You are one of the most amazing creatures this universe has ever created.

All of the above is true. The question is, do you believe it? Do you believe it is even possible? If you don't believe it you're preventing yourself from being the magnificent person you were meant to be; you're selling yourself short and missing out on the gift we call life.

Unfortunately, someone telling you to think positively is not going to change how you feel about yourself. Most of us have no idea what is truly holding us back. We want more from our lives but, without the right tools, we're just spinning our wheels, failing to achieve our true potential or, worse, believing we're not capable or worthy of the success others have achieved.

Do you:

Who you think you are and the identity you hold will filter into every aspect of your life. If you believe you are talented, you will present yourself to the world this way. If you believe you are not, your mind will have no choice but to prove this so.

Some people were raised by parents who always complimented, encouraged and supported them. In those cases, the child felt supported when mistakes were made, and they were left with the feeling of emotional strength. If they were taught that success comes from making mistakes and it is ok to fail, especially when you learn from it, then the child is reinforced as they develop their self-image. In these cases, it is easier for the child to accept him or herself and therefore, self-love or self-acceptance is easier. Self-love and self-acceptance is vital to healthy self-confidence and self-esteem.

Not all low self-esteem problems stem from the way our parents raised us. Other contributing factors to low self-esteem is divorce, absence of a loving environment, sexual or physical abuse, trauma or the lack of appropriate guidance early in life. The act of "esteeming" ourselves, giving ourselves value, is difficult when you have never witnessed it (or experienced it) first hand in your life. Feelings of "never being good enough" or "never doing enough" are derived from a condition, which does not foster a healthy self-image. These feelings may result in low self-confidence, underachievement  and may manifest many times in substance abuse, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, anger or weight control issues. In addition, we have the added issue of the media trying to influence our feelings of self by showing us how we should look, what we should eat and what we should wear. It would appear that the  people we read about or see on TV are all positive examples  of high self-esteem and healthy self-confidence; yet, we read about drug and alcohol addictions (even overdoses) every day.  Substance abuse is a direct sign of low self-esteem.

 

The Solution

How to cultivate positive self-esteem within yourself: There is hope!  It would seem that once we get the feeling that we are not good enough", it is a hard feeling to shake.  It might be helpful for you to know that everyone doubts himself or herself from time to time. The difference is that the person who has a healthy and strong self-esteem will bounce back faster and will generally not accept "down"  periods for very long. It is the human condition to be imperfect.  So, take heed that you too can have your down days and still be perfectly healthy. Understanding your value and worth can be achieved through a variety of thought  processes and exercises.

Positive self-esteem comes from not only realising and valuing your strong points but also understanding your weaknesses and knowing they are simply part of who you are. Everyone faces the fear of rejection, the fear of not being good enough, of not doing well enough, of not looking good enough, but these are just fears. They are thoughts created within us, not grounded in reality.  You can begin to appreciate your self worth in just a few minutes. Learning how to love, appreciate, and accept who you are is a choice.  It is made one moment at a time.

If you want to stop your self-sabotage and get more out of life but you just can't seem to find the resources to get there, welcome to brain-train, your gateway to making the changes you want to make.

If you've tried tapes, books, meditation, positive affirmations, and are still looking for answers, if you're truly seeking to make a change in your life and want someone to guide you through your challenges, we can help. brain-train targets the deepest unconscious areas in your mind that have been holding you back. 

Our clients have learned how to remove old limiting beliefs and emotions and discover a whole new world inside themselves.  Discover how you can excel at being the person you want to be.

 

Change Exercise

Try this change exercise yourself:

Change one thing you dislike about yourself into something else!

If possible, try to be alone when you do this exercise, and give yourself at least twenty minutes.  Choose something about yourself that you dislike-for instance a body part. Really look at it.  Look at all the things that are wrong with it.  All the things you hate about it. Be really clear with yourself what makes this thing seem so bad.

Then stop.  Find one thing you like about it-the color, the shape in terms of art, its symmetry-anything.  Really focus your attention on that one positive aspect of this thing. Now, start thinking about all the things you like about it. Continue to stare at yourself and soon you will see a transition.  It won't look so bad.  It won't feel so bad.  Start taking some of those things that a moment ago you disliked and turn them into things that you like, even love about yourself.  Allow this sensation to permeate your being.

Now stop.  Look at the thing you didn't like about yourself again, keeping in mind all you like or love about it.  I think you'll find that it doesn't feel so bad, look so bad, or seem so hopeless, does it?  It only matters what you think.  Try to imagine living in a world where you don't judge yourself-a world where you can observe what happens, but don't feel compelled to place any good or bad attachments to it.

You can love or hate the things in your life.  The choice is yours.  If you dislike things about yourself, you will feel bad, and it will lower your self-esteem. Other people will notice that.  By contrast, you can love, appreciate and really value yourself simply because you are you-and no one else is quite like you.  The choice is yours-but why feel badly about yourself when it's so easy to feel good? 

If you found this exercise worked for you, try it with other aspects of your life.  If you find you continue to slip into negative self-esteem patterns, try to get back to that place you were when you realized all the positive associations about yourself.

 

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