Change Excercise

 

Introduction

I believe that analysis doesn’t work long term. Making people who have suffered trauma go through it again and again is like taking some one with a broken leg and throwing them downstairs until they feel better.

Human beings are very mechanical in their behaviours. If someone has a dysfunctional behaviour, they are fulfilling something positive for themselves through it. To correct that you do not need to go on a voyage of analysis.

 

Change Exercise 1

A chief cause of unhappiness is what we call MENTAL MOVIES. Mental movies are a misuse of the imagination. You know how it goes. You have a painful experience with someone, then you run it over and over in your mind. You visualise what you said, what she did, how you both felt. As awful as it is, you feel compelled to repeat the film day and night. It is as if you were locked inside a theatre playing a horror movie.

To break out be aware that you ARE running a mental movie. Be conscious of its mechanical hold on your mind. Then, by deliberate choice, break it off. Shake your head and break it off. Now, at this instant, take a quick look. Where is your pain? It is not there. It has disappeared. You have now accomplished something great. You have proved that you CAN snap out of the film and its tyrannical pain. You are free and you are free RIGHT NOW.

Try the above method for yourself. Even though you succeed at first for just a split second, you have succeeded completely! Now realising that small success is possible, you can advance to great success!"

 

Change Exercise 2

Reframe your situation. Our reactions are caused by how we interpret the world – nothing in itself is stressful, only the way that we see it. If you see a person or situation as threatening, your body will register stress. So whenever something stresses you, see it in your mind’s eye. Then drain out the colour, make the picture black and white, then imagine it shrinking, spinning away from you and disappearing. Then create a picture/movie of you dealing brilliantly with the situation in big, bright bold colours. How good can you feel now!

 

Change Exercise 3

Change one thing you dislike about yourself into something else!

If possible, try to be alone when you do this exercise, and give yourself at least twenty minutes.  Choose something about yourself that you dislike-for instance a body part. Really look at it.  Look at all the things that are wrong with it.  All the things you hate about it. Be really clear with yourself what makes this thing seem so bad.

Then stop.  Find one thing you like about it-the color, the shape in terms of art, its symmetry-anything.  Really focus your attention on that one positive aspect of this thing. Now, start thinking about all the things you like about it. Continue to stare at yourself and soon you will see a transition.  It won't look so bad.  It won't feel so bad.  Start taking some of those things that a moment ago you disliked and turn them into things that you like, even love about yourself.  Allow this sensation to permeate your being.

Now stop.  Look at the thing you didn't like about yourself again, keeping in mind all you like or love about it.  I think you'll find that it doesn't feel so bad, look so bad, or seem so hopeless, does it?  It only matters what you think.  Try to imagine living in a world where you don't judge yourself-a world where you can observe what happens, but don't feel compelled to place any good or bad attachments to it.

You can love or hate the things in your life.  The choice is yours.  If you dislike things about yourself, you will feel bad, and it will lower your self-esteem. Other people will notice that.  By contrast, you can love, appreciate and really value yourself simply because you are you-and no one else is quite like you.  The choice is yours-but why feel badly about yourself when it's so easy to feel good? 

If you found this exercise worked for you, try it with other aspects of your life.  If you find you continue to slip into negative self-esteem patterns, try to get back to that place you were when you realised all the positive associations about yourself.

The best changes take place not with the outside world having to change to you, but inside you and how you perceive people, places and things..